No-Turning-Back Eve: Summiting the Mountain of the Present

Yesterday, a solo walk. A gruelling one. Endless steps towards the heavens, blanketed with snow. It was unintentional, but deeply cathartic. I was going to catch the bus, but split off last-second from Mary to face the trail. Walking alone for me feels different. More challenging, but more introspective. Perhaps faster, too.

The implied significance of the day only hit me as I began the ascent proper. After today, they would be truly no turning back. I’d finished the pilgrimage route, but the real journey was only just beginning.

This week would mark the beginning of a new year for me if I was home in Australia. I’d be starting medicine. The school year would also begin and with it, my work. But not this year.

I felt that my aloneness on the Ogumotori-goe was appropriate. I had elected to be alone this year. To begin a long ascent. To swim against the current, upstream, towards something unknown. The terrain of that journey is uncertain, just as the snowfall yesterday was unfamiliar to me.

Within the pilgrimage itself, this section was unique in its isolation. No reception, no bathrooms, no escape route. Just me and these mossy, snow-covered steps for 15km. It felt appropriate. I was now here, committed, and moving forward. A look back in the rear view mirror would show what could’ve been. But that mountain has been climbed now. The door is shut. And there are many more mountains ahead.