It Actually Doesn’t Hurt to Ask
You’re probably not as annoying as you believe. In our heads, we hold a very personally biased viewed on everything. But that means that others do too. Chances are, most people are too preoccupied with themselves, their own issues and thoughts, that they have no time to spare to dwell on a tiny interaction with you.
A mindset that has only really developed as I’ve grown in age—just ask. Seriously, if you think there could be something to gain from asking, just do it. Simply understand that, by default, you’ll receive a no, or some kind of confirmation about what you already knew. That’s not a bad outcome. If you expect it, that outcome is no longer negative. You no longer leave the interaction dejected or embarrassed. In fact, you probably would’ve answered that request in the very same way. If your own sense of priority and self-valuation is strong, you yourself should probably say “no” to most things as well. Thus, receiving a “yes” is a valuable commodity. People giving up their time and energy to help you is uncommon.
Following through on that curious voice in your head has home-run potential, yet you can’t strike out. The upside is so so high. As a skill, being able to ask for things has ubiquitous impact. Yearning to resolve interpersonal tension? Want to just check in about an opportunity you were waiting to hear back from? Feeling like you should send a follow up message, just in case they were busy and missed it? The simple gateway of a gentle, friendly, and respectful can often cause a profound, and unforeseen domino effect that really brings about change to your life. Ultimately, to change your life, you need to change. Change won’t happen to you, but because of you.
Even if you don’t think asking could possibly change a thing, you might be wrong. Opening the floodgates just ever-so-slightly can have a dramatic impact. Plus, if you gain absolutely no concrete value from your ask—and most of the time, you won’t—you’re still helping yourself build a vital, infinitely transferrable skill that many around you lack. Put yourself out there more often and you’ll start to realise that usually, no one cares enough for it to affect you. If they do, chances are that the positive impact on you substantially outweighs the perceived risk
A mindset that has only really developed as I’ve grown in age—just ask. Seriously, if you think there could be something to gain from asking, just do it. Simply understand that, by default, you’ll receive a no, or some kind of confirmation about what you already knew. That’s not a bad outcome. If you expect it, that outcome is no longer negative. You no longer leave the interaction dejected or embarrassed. In fact, you probably would’ve answered that request in the very same way. If your own sense of priority and self-valuation is strong, you yourself should probably say “no” to most things as well. Thus, receiving a “yes” is a valuable commodity. People giving up their time and energy to help you is uncommon.
Following through on that curious voice in your head has home-run potential, yet you can’t strike out. The upside is so so high. As a skill, being able to ask for things has ubiquitous impact. Yearning to resolve interpersonal tension? Want to just check in about an opportunity you were waiting to hear back from? Feeling like you should send a follow up message, just in case they were busy and missed it? The simple gateway of a gentle, friendly, and respectful can often cause a profound, and unforeseen domino effect that really brings about change to your life. Ultimately, to change your life, you need to change. Change won’t happen to you, but because of you.
Even if you don’t think asking could possibly change a thing, you might be wrong. Opening the floodgates just ever-so-slightly can have a dramatic impact. Plus, if you gain absolutely no concrete value from your ask—and most of the time, you won’t—you’re still helping yourself build a vital, infinitely transferrable skill that many around you lack. Put yourself out there more often and you’ll start to realise that usually, no one cares enough for it to affect you. If they do, chances are that the positive impact on you substantially outweighs the perceived risk
