Abundance to Scarcity

Without anything changing, a sense of abundance can so quickly morph into a feeling of scarcity.

We now have ten days left here on Koh Pha Ngan. With respect to the entire year, that is plenty of time—more time, in fact, than our previous longest stay at any one location before coming to Thailand. For the past couple of weeks, it has felt like we’ve had all the time in the world. We haven’t been counting the days, opening our calendars, or remembering days of the week. Then, something just flipped.

Now, we’re trying to cram as much into every day that we can. We feel nostalgia for a place we haven’t even left yet. Everything becomes potentially the final occasion, or the last opportunity. The count-down is back to being stuck in my head.

But what changed? I don’t know.

What arbitrary moment in time signified a swing from abundance to scarcity? From relaxation to fear? From immersion in the present, to a fixation on the future? I’m not sure, but I do know that this phenomenon happens everywhere in my life. Abundance is only ever relative to your surroundings, and your context. It is a narrative. Likewise with scarcity.

Maybe it is a useful way of thinking about time, or perhaps it just causes unnecessary guilt and anxiety. Whether constructive or not, it’s certainly a mindset that feels difficult to escape, at least for me.